by James David Patrick
Few items are more American than a stack of bread, beef, cheese and more bread. Indeed, whole movies have been made about the pursuit of cheeseburgers and the making of cheeseburgers. You can find burger offerings up and down the pop-culture menu. TV, movies, song, and even video games have celebrated that mouth-watering, tastebud triggering cheeseburger. You don’t have to be Jimmy Buffett to think that a Cheeseburger can be paradise.
The cinematic burger has been metaphoric, character-defining. They’ve also been MacGuffins, stars of their own music video, linguistic obstacles, and corded telephone props. Terry Crews pulled one out of his pants and handed one to an opponent on the football field. What can’t an on-screen cheeseburger do?
To celebrate the everyday pleasures of a nice, juicy, cheeseburger… let’s count down the Top 15 cheeseburger moments in American cinema, ranked according to the quality/aesthetics of cheeseburger, narrative or character importance, and creative utility. In other words, it’ll be scientific, wholly arbitrary and extra cheezy.
Juno (Elliot Page) chats on the burger phone.
15. Juno (Jason Reitman, 2007)
“Can you just hold on for a second? I’m on my hamburger phone.”
While no actual food-grade cheeseburgers play a role in Jason Reitman’s Juno, the Elliot Page title character’s kitschy telephone of choice caused a run on corded cheeseburgers. Diablo Cody’s script, in fact, specifically called for a cheeseburger phone because the screenwriter used one to talk to her boyfriends in high school. Reitman had to hunt high and low to satisfy the script’s demands, ultimately ordering one from Japan. As Juno took the world by surprise, a new Japanese company jumped into the production chain, satisfying unrelenting demand. (Sales of cheeseburger phones on eBay jumped 759%! Take that “Vote for Pedro” t-shirts.)
Cody’s script won the Oscar for Best Original Screenplay, and Juno received three other nominations including Best Actress (Elliot Page) and Best Picture. The 2007 indie coming-of-age dramedy features strong lead performances that give teeth (and perhaps some metatextual awareness) to the stylized teenage dialogue.
Juno’s commercial omnipresence ($231 million worldwide gross) and critical accolades inspired a cultural backlash. Some saw the film as an anti-choice film because it suited their political agenda. Others suggested that the film inspired teenagers to become pregnant (search “The Juno Effect” to jog your memory). Now, more than a decade removed from its release, viewers can once again focus on the ways that the film embraces its eccentricities and offers a quirky character-driven story that’s also smart and dryly funny.
The Longest Yard remake might not be very good, but Terry Crews (far right) as Cheeseburger Eddie makes it worth a viewing.
14. The Longest Yard (Peter Segal, 2005)
“I got the shakes that'll make you quake. I got the fries that'll cross your eyes. I got burgers that'll... I just got burgers.”
I would like to state for the record that I do not recommend the 2005 remake of The Longest Yard, you know, as a movie that one could watch for entertainment. That said, I laughed every single time Terry Crews handed someone a cheeseburger. A running absurdist gag can forgive a great many sins. You can make yourself feel better about renting 2005 by also watching the excellent 1974 original (which is a surprisingly effective drama laced with comedy) and write it off as a Burt Reynolds double feature.
Casey Affleck in Good Will Hunting, having just endured the “Cheeseburger-on-layaway” speech.
13. Good Will Hunting (Gus Van Sant, 1997)
“Well why don’t you give me your ***ing sixteen cents you got on you and we’ll put your sandwich on layaway. [Puts cheeseburger on dashboard.] There you go. Keep it right up here for you. We’ll put you on a program. Every day you come in with your six cents, and at the end of the week you’ll have your sandwich.”
A cheeseburger theme provides the perfect excuse to revisit Good Will Hunting. As with so many of these little movies that become buzzworthy cultural phenomena, the hype supersedes and sometimes eclipses the films themselves. Buoyed by an Oscar-winning script from Matt Damon and Ben Affleck and Robin Williams’ tender performance, Gus Van Sant’s film rewards multiple viewings by stripping the movie down to its basic components. Without the accolades and reputation clouding your experience, watch Good Will Hunting for exactly what it is – a somewhat predictable narrative wrapped around an entertaining and emotional sequence of tender and funny individual moments.
One such moment finds brothers Affleck arguing about the now infamous “cheeseburger-on-layaway.” The scene furthers a sincere bond between characters, while we also enjoy a scathing tongue lashing about Casey’s parasitic tendencies.
Michael Douglas inspects his flaccid burger in Falling Down.
12. Falling Down (Joel Schumacher, 1993)
“Can anyone tell me what’s wrong with this picture?”
In this scathing black comedy about contemporary dehumanization, Bill Foster just wants to get home to his daughter’s birthday party, but modern Los Angeles keeps getting in his way. He becomes unhinged, abandons his gridlocked car, and forges through the urban jungle. His encounters become increasingly violent, and he dares to declare, through sardonic observations, the ways that poverty and commercialism act as human controls.
One of the most remarkable scenes in the film occurs when our anti-hero strolls into a burger joint just after 11am and asks for breakfast. First denied by the young cashier, he asks to speak to the manager who also refuses to serve him breakfast because it is “against policy.” After Bill takes out his machine gun to make a point, the manager scrambles to throw together his breakfast. Bill, having seen all the people enjoying a nice burger, changes his mind. Then he receives a flimsy, wilting piece of beef on a bun that sends this scene in an entirely new direction.
The script by Ebbe Roe Smith makes Bill Foster both the hero and the villain of his own story, and as a result the film has polarized viewers since its 1993 release. It’s not an easy film but Falling Down serves up both a popcorn thriller and a complicated, disturbing social commentary about a man’s severance with reality.
Robert Downey, Jr. as Tony Stark repeatedly enjoys his cheeseburgers.
11. Iron Man (Jon Favreau, 2008)
“Cheeseburger first.”
While the cheeseburger scene in Iron Man acts as an entertaining aside, the significance of the cheeseburger reaches beyond the movie itself.
Having just escaped from military custody, Tony Stark (Robert Downey, Jr.) requests a press conference and a cheeseburger. In an interview, the actor revealed that it was while eating a Burger King burger that he decided to get his life back on track. He threw his drugs away and swore he’d get sober. In Iron Man, Tony Stark also decides that his company will stop making weapons of war while having a Burger King cheeseburger.
Stark’s cheeseburger obsession is also revisited during a pivotal scene in Avengers: Endgame.
Anya Taylor-Joy’s face speaks volumes about the quality of that Chef Slowik’s cheeseburger.
10. The Menu (Mark Mylod, 2022)
“I'll make you feel as if you're eating the first cheeseburger you ever ate. The cheap one your parents could barely afford.”
In this black-as-night comedy, Tyler (Nicholas Hoult) and his date Margot (Anya Taylor-Joy) travel to a remote island to be a part of an exclusive culinary experience courtesy of celebrity chef Julian Slowik (Ralph Fiennes). As Chef Slowik delivers the food, his monologues become increasingly disturbing and begin revealing unflattering truths about his guests and perhaps an ulterior motive for the gathering.
Without spoiling the twists this film takes, let’s just say that Margot starts to figure things out and attempts to take some initiative of her own.
During dessert, Margot confronts Chef Slowik and calls his food “loveless,” complaining that she hasn’t really eaten anything all day despite the numerous courses of food. Chef demands to know what she actually wants to eat and she requests a Cheeseburger, “to go.”
The result is one of the most decadent, bloody, and delicious-looking burgers in the history of cinema.
Mr. Mentalino (Mike Starr) eats his last cheeseburger in Dumb & Dumber.
9. Dumb and Dumber (Peter Farrelly, 1994)
“Life's a fragile thing, Harr. One minute you're chewin' on a burger, and the next minute you're dead meat.”
One of the dumbest smart (smartest dumb?) movies ever made, Peter Farrelly’s 1994 comedy endures because of the mismatched comic personalities of Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels. Widely panned by critics at the time of its release, the cult of Dumb and Dumber merely continues to grow. A loud and obnoxious pair of dimwitted characters cannot be taken at face value. Those that enjoy the film recognize the clever ways that the Farrelly brothers placed their (mostly) good-hearted idiots in a classic unwitting-spy narrative. Dumb and Dumber also features a cheeseburger gag gone horribly wrong.
Lloyd and Harry encounter their would-be hitman, Joe Mentalino (Mike Starr), at a burger bar called Dante’s Inferno. After fighting over the order in which they’d eat an atomic pepper – “it’s more tingly than hot” – the pair satisfies their pain by squirting mustard and ketchup down their throats. When Mr. Mentalino steps outside to make a phone call (and establish that he’s about to kill them with rat poison), they stuff atomic peppers into his cheeseburger as a “goof.” When he finally takes a bite, Harry and Lloyd erupt in giggles while Joe collapses on the floor, begging for his ulcer pills. Harry grabs his pills and shoves them down his mouth – except he grabs the rat poison instead of proper prescribed medication. Whoopsie.
And we never did find out what Mr. Mentalino thought about his cheeseburger.
Viktor (Tom Hanks) figures out the cart return in The Terminal in order to buy burgers.
8. The Terminal (Steven Spielberg, 2004)
“It’s Navorsky. He’s figured out the quarters.”
Partially inspired by Mehran Karimi Nasseri’s 18-year stay at the Charles de Gaulle airport in Paris, The Terminal chronicles the plight of Viktor Navorski (Tom Hanks), an air traveler stranded at New York’s JFK after the United States ceased to recognize his native Krakozhia as an independent country. He can neither return home nor set food on U.S. soil.
An odd duck among Steven Spielberg’s filmography, The Terminal mixes light comedy with a personal, character-driven drama. The result is a movie that floats like a feather but delivers somber ideas about what it means to be "home” alongside a winking indictment of U.S. foreign policy.
All credit to Tom Hanks here. It's no surprise, but Hanks makes something beautiful out of a character that could have been an overlong post-Weekend Update SNL skit. Viktor’s optimistic and afraid, stuck in a purgatory, mere feet from completing his late father’s lifelong quest. Between the accent and the high-concept parameters of his airport stay, I now hold this performance up with some of his best in terms of difficulty of dramatic execution.
And you may never have seen someone so happy to see a cheeseburger.
After Viktor arrives at JFK and learns of his indefinite stay, the airport security advisor (Stanley Tucci) gives him food tickets so he can eat in the food court. Those tickets vanish in an instant and he’s left without any way to obtain food. He stumbles into a get-burger-rich-quick scheme, whereby placing a luggage cart back into the corral returns a quarter. He begins collecting the abandoned carts and retrieving his spare change. Viktor uses these quarters to buy Burger King cheeseburgers. He starts with a regular single flame-broiler, consuming it with all the relish of a gourmet meal and soon works his way up to a full, resplendent feast – a Whopper, fries and a side salad.
Steve Martin as Inspector Clousseau in The PInk Panther.
7. The Pink Panther (Shawn Levy, 2006)
Dialect Instructor: I would like to buy a hamburger.
Inspector Clouseau: I would like to be a damburgen.
Another instance in which an individual aspect or scene within the film makes it more than worthy within the auspices of the cheeseburger countdown. Steve Martin makes the 2006 remake of The Pink Panther amiable, if mostly forgettable. And I say mostly because it happens to feature one hilarious scene in which Steve Martin’s Inspector Clouseau meets a dialect instructor who is attempting to make him sound more American. The repetitive call and response war of elocution spirals out of control as Martin’s French accent grows increasingly absurd. No hamburger makes an appearance, but for pure repetition of the word alone, you can’t ignore the juicy perfection of the “damburgen” with or without cheese.
But you should definitely go ahead and watch at least the first Peter Sellers Pink Panther film while you’re thinking about it.
Jemaine Clement and Loren Taylor in Taika Waititi’s Eagle vs. Shark.
6. Eagle vs. Shark (Taika Waititi, 2007)
Lily: Do you want cheese on your burger?
Jarrod: No, thanks.
Lily: It's free, too. I'll give it to you. You'll save sixty cents.
Jarrod: No, thanks.
Lily: Why? It's free cheese.
No list would be complete without a slightly deeper cut moving up the cheeseburger ranks to keep moviewatchers on their toes. Since this, Waititi’s debut film, he’s gone on to win an Academy Award (Best Screenplay for JoJo Rabbit) and direct Thor: Ragnarok. But it all began back in New Zealand with this (sometimes painfully) quirk-based romantic comedy.
Shy Lily (Loren Taylor) works at Meaty Boy (she can get you a free upsized fries with that) and falls in love with depressed, angsty Jarrod (Jemaine Clement) who invites her best friend to a party—the “come dressed as your favorite animal” party. Oh, and we’ll also throw shoes at this guy’s head because he’s got a helmet. Lily crashes the party (dressed as a shark) and the two embark on a kind of love affair that’s as sweetly observational as it is demented and stilted.
Eagle vs. Shark tests the limits of “cute” and “quirky.” There’s stop motion animation, ukulele, ironic Jermaine mullets and sometimes you just want to shake some sense into these characters – but there’s also a sincere sweetness and a smattering of beautiful comedic subtlety to Waititi’s film that teases the kind of talent he’d later channel into JoJo Rabbit (2019) and Hunt for the Wilderpeople (2016).
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs wins the Volume of Cheeseburgers Award.
5. Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (Phil Lord, Chris Miller, 2009)
“This tastes significantly better than sardines!”
It might not be fair to include animated cheeseburgers conjured by theoretical food chemistry (and meteorology) in a list about the greatest cinematic cheeseburgers, but Lord and Miller’s (The Lego Movie) first foray into big screen animation proves so wildly imaginative that I can’t help but give it a fresh recommendation.
Inventor Flint Lockwood solves the town of Chewsandswallow’s food shortage by causing clouds to rain cheeseburgers (and many other things), but his machine goes out of control and the erratic weather threatens to destroy humanity.
Helped along by charismatic voicework from Bill Hader, Anna Faris, James Caan, Mr. T and Andy Samberg, Cloudy serves up a tightly scripted dish with so many clever food puns you might just choke on them.
Kumar (Kal Penn) and Harold (John Cho) reach the White Castle promise land in Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle.
4. Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle (Danny Leiner, 2004)
Harold: I want 30 sliders, 5 french fries, and 4 large Cherry Cokes.
Kumar: I want the same, except make mine Diet Cokes, Chuck.
What happens when an accountant Harold (John Cho) and his roommate and Pre-Med roommate Kumar (Kal Penn) get stoned and stumble across a White Castle commercial while watching television? The quest for a slider becomes a mythic journey deep into the heart of New Jersey to satisfy the ultimate craving. They encounter angry rednecks, misguided cops and a demented, after-hours Neil Patrick Harris, that’s at least a little bit like a demented Virgil to Harold and Kumar’s Dante.
By pushing stereotypes to their natural limits, Harold & Kumar subverts racial bias by breaking down the specific components comprising these superficial stereotypes. Kal Penn and John Cho turn stereotyping into a strength, and their chemistry together elevates another lazy stoner movie into an amiable comedy of aspirations so low… they’re actually high (as a kite).
You know how it is—it’s 3am, you’re hungry and the only thing that’ll do is a sack of sliders. We’ve all been there, and there’s no shame in doing what you’ve got to do.
Ed (Kel Mitchell) slings burgers in the gustatory classic Good Burger.
3. Good Burger (Brian Robbins, 1997)
“Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger. May I take your order?”
Based on a comedy sketch from the Kel Mitchell and Kenan Thompson Nickelodeon TV series All That, Good Burger’s the tale of a slacker named Dexter (Kenan) who – without license or insurance – takes his mother’s car for a joyride on the first day of summer break and gets into an accident with his teacher Mr. Wheat (Sinbad). In order to pay for the damages he gets a tedious job at the local burger joint – Good Burger. It’s your typical, fictional fast-food eatery populated with familiar faces (Abe Vigoda and Dan Schneider) and Ed (Kel). Ed’s a special kind of space cadet, the kind of half-brain that says things that are so stupid they’re entirely logical.
Just as Mondo Burger starts selling their massive, gargantuan patties across the street, threatening Good Burger’s survival, Dexter discovers Ed’s special homemade sauce and launches a campaign to save the old burger joint, with an eye on his own financial interests, of course. Mondo Burger fights back and fights dirty. They even send Carmen Electra to steal Ed’s secret sauce.
Good Burger’s loud, charmingly infantile, and dangerously addictive. It’ll either send you into a 90’s-induced rage or you’ll find your new favorite dumb movie. I just wish we could all try Ed’s special sauce.
The stop-motion cheeseburger plays Van Halen in Better Off Dead.
2. Better Off Dead (Savage Steve Holland, 1985)
“Gee, I’m really sorry your mom blew up, Ricky. The doctor says she’ll be okay, but she won’t be able to eat any spicy foods for a while.”
The connective tissue between Good Burger and Better Off Dead? Dan Schneider.
When his girlfriend Beth dumps him for a ski jock, Lane (John Cusack) contemplates suicide, fails miserably, and finds love in a French exchange student (Diane Franklin). Savage Steve Holland’s Better Off Dead remains one of the quintessential teen movies of the 1980s – filled with dark humor, existentialism, unfettered (and scatterbrained) imagination, and some of the most quotable dialogue of the decade.
It’s included in a list of best cinematic burger scenes, obviously, because during one of Lane’s fast-food fueled daydreams he imagines a stop-motion burger playing Van Halen guitar. It’s hard to imagine how a movie like this ever got funded, and we should celebrate its existence whenever possible.
Jules (Samuel L. Jackson) tastes the Big Kahuna burger.
1. Pulp Fiction (Quentin Tarantino, 1994)
Jules: “Le Big Mac! Ahhaha, what do they call a Whopper?”
Vincent: “I dunno, I didn't go into a Burger King.”
It’s hard to convey how completely Pulp Fiction captured the attention of moviegoers in 1994. If Reservoir Dogs (1992) made a ripple in the cinematic landscape, Pulp Fiction landed like a cannonball. There were two types of the people. Those that had seen Pulp Fiction at least twice and those that hadn’t.
It also has the virtue of featuring not only one of the greatest snippets of cheeseburger-related dialogue, but also one of the most appealing burgers in the history of movies. It’s not necessarily that the Big Kahuna (Tarantino’s fictional Hawaiian-themed fast-food restaurant) burger looks delicious, like one of the advertisements pointed out by Michael Douglas’ character in Falling Down -- it’s 100% Samuel Jackson’s reaction to the bite of burger and the following sip of soda.
That was indeed a tasty burger, cooked to perfection by Samuel L. Jackson’s performance. If you could pick only one, would you peek inside the briefcase or taste that Big Kahuna?
James David Patrick is a Pittsburgh-based writer with a movie-watching problem. He has a degree in Film Studies from Emory University that gives him license to discuss Russian Shakespeare adaptations and oeuvre of Jason Statham in the same sentence. He hosts the Cinema Shame podcast. You’ll find him crate diving at local record shops. James blogs about movies, music and 80’s nostalgia at www.thirtyhertzrumble.com.